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Today is the sixth day of the twelfth lunar month. The proverb says "on the seventh and eighth days of the twelfth lunar month, your chin will freeze off." Northeast China is about to experience a severe cold snap. 。My heart feels just as frozen. 。I was just transferred to a marginal department by my leader, and I am feeling lost and stuck in my career. 。The new office is very dark, the 20-square-meter room only has two fluorescent lights. I bought a desk lamp hoping to make this corner of my workspace brighter. 。Outside, the north wind howled. It was too cold to go out at noon. I opened my newly bought copy of "On the Right Bank of Erguna River" and read it slowly.... "I am an old acquaintance of rain and snow, I'm ninety years old," These familiar words pulled me back to my childhood memories.... I was born under the Changbai Mountains in Heilongjiang province, in a forestry bureau. It was deep in the forest, the hometown of snow. My grandfather and several aunts still lived there. 。My grandmother and grandfather have six daughters in total. I am the child of their fourth daughter. It's strange, every child in our generation seems to have a shared experience living at my grandmother's house and feels a sense of closeness to it. 。I took a look at the clock, it was 12:53 pm. There were seven minutes left until lunch break ended. I thought to myself, "I'll just get up and use the restroom." At that moment, my right eyelid twitched violently four or five times. I couldn't help but think, "I'm already struggling at work, do I have to be unlucky too?" Just then, I saw a group chat from my maternal family. My second aunt sent several long voice messages. As I walked, I opened them and translated them into text. The words hit me like a punch: "Dad is in the ICU, I'm rushing back." 。I immediately called and video chatted. As expected, I saw the saddest result. My mom was sobbing, "I don't have a dad anymore, Grandpa is gone...." Grandpa was 88 years old. I knew he was old and that one day he would leave us, but I didn't expect that when a loved one suddenly leaves, those who are alive would be so caught off guard, so hard to accept...... My chest could no longer contain any grievances, tears flowed uncontrollably on my face. I immediately asked for leave from my leader and rushed home. 。The north wind blew against my face, but it couldn't blow away my tears. I even cried out loud, like when I was a child and fell down, feeling wronged and needing a hug from an adult. I ran towards the subway station crying. 。At the same time, my aunt, uncle, and cousins all received the news of my grandfather's passing. We were all in different cities, with different jobs, but we took leave, bought tickets, refueled our cars, and rushed to the same destination: our hometown, our grandfather's home, our Linhai Xueyuan. 。I settled the children, called my leader to ask for leave, was told "ancestors are not direct descendants and cannot take bereavement leave, you can take a sick leave but it may be linked to performance" after that, I bought tomorrow's ticket. 。According to Northeastern customs, we will burn a large paper for our grandfather in the evening of the second day, bringing him gold, silver, money, property, and vehicles for his journey. On the third day, we will conduct a funeral ceremony and cremation, also known as "out-funeral". 。It's been a long time since we last went back to our hometown. Over the past three years, with the pandemic lockdown, we needed to register before leaving the province. I got married, had a baby girl, and took maternity leave during these three years. Mom hasn't gone back home for several years either because she took care of me. 。Fortunately, during last year's National Day holiday, everyone went back to celebrate their grandfather's birthday. 。My mom and I finally got on the high-speed train. Looking out the window at the endless Northeast Plain covered in snow, it felt both familiar and strange. 。When I was 18, after the college entrance examination ended, I resolutely pushed my suitcase away from my hometown. 。Now that I'm in my thirties, I have long since finished my studies and am living and working abroad. 。Every time I go back home, it's to visit my grandfather and relatives, to reunite with them. 。 。 |
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