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At six o'clock on Saturday, outside the window, a gust of wind blew through, and the maple leaves rustled. 。A cool breeze blew into the room, brushing against my shirt, and I was gently awakened by the slight chill. 。I yawned and slowly opened my eyes. In the hazy light, I saw the curtains dancing in the wind. 。I rubbed my eyes, and sure enough, not only had I left the window open, but I was also sitting at the foot of the bed, half-leaning against the headboard, with my head buried in my hands clasped over my knees, fast asleep. 。I looked at the bloodstains on my wrists from the pressure. I couldn't understand how I could sleep a whole night in this position. The wind was slightly cool, and I prepared to get into bed and pull the covers over myself...I have low blood sugar. If I stand up for a short while, I'll feel dizzy and hotheaded, my vision will go blank, and I'll lose my balance. 。So I slowly got up, after a night my blood had mostly pooled in my lower body, my legs felt swollen and puffy. I used my hands to support myself on the bed as I slowly sat up. 。I thought my legs would be numb, like being eaten alive by insects, but no, they were just completely without feeling. My legs wouldn't obey and I couldn't stand up. 。I wasn't in a hurry. Instead, I pushed with both hands and lifted my buttocks up to sit steadily on the bed. 。I moved back a little further, knowing the anesthetic was wearing off. 。Looking at the ceiling, unremarkable, the faint light of dawn still made the room a little dim. 。As expected, I lay flat on the bed, blood flowing throughout my body, and my legs were no longer swollen. 。But, starting from the soles of my feet, ants began to bite. It wasn't painful, but it was a feeling that I couldn't accept mentally. 。Unconsciously, I began to softly recite the incantation that was about to be buried in my memory: "Feet numb up the tree, open branches good for climbing..." I knew this was just a comfort to myself, but as I kept reciting it, I actually found it helpful. 。As I read this, my memories of childhood came flooding back. 。Beside the thick weeds on the levee, Leng Yang sat on the sun-bleached fence post, his butt completely bare. I, however, refused to sit because it was dirty. I puffed up and squatted beside him, we waited, waiting for our prey. 。I initially approached him with a skeptical expression and set up a trap with him. We prepared a thin, solid, and smooth long rope, tying one end to a tree and the other end into a noose. When the wild chicken fell into the trap, if it tried to escape, the wider opening of the noose would become smaller, and the more it struggled, the tighter the noose would become. 。And below that is a deep pit we dug in advance, with food already placed inside. When the pheasant falls into it, the opening above will automatically close, making it difficult for it to fly out even if it doesn't get caught. 。He was brimming with confidence. 。The waiting process was a bit long, he explained the traps to me while showing off his perfect accuracy. I thought what he said made sense and kept nodding along. 。He waited for an hour or so, then shook me and shushed me with his finger to his lips. 。I saw a wild rooster with black and red feathers and a red comb. It cautiously walked around the edge of the pit, and after walking around it accidentally got caught in the trap. When it struggled, it fell even deeper into the pit. 。I saw my eyes widened, and I exclaimed, "Wow!" Leng Yang was very happy and hurriedly pulled me to go see it, but my legs went numb, and I sat down heavily on the fence. He smiled and said, "You're already sitting on a fence now..." 。I just sat there, pointing straight at my legs and sobbing, "It hurts." 。He didn't care about the wild chicken and squatted down, saying: "It's nothing, my leg is just numb. Let me pull you up." 。And I continued to sob, "Go and see the wild goose quickly. It will fly away soon.” 。He continued to reach out and say, "You still don't believe in my skills! Come on, get up, I'll teach you the secret, little crybaby" 。I couldn't stand up, he pulled me to sit on his lap and said, "It's good that we didn't get dirty just now". 。I looked at him: how could he be so considerate and pay attention to what I said. 。He said: "Crybaby, come, let's recite the mantra together, so it won't hurt." 。He says one sentence, I say one sentence. 。"My feet were numb when I climbed the tree, and I opened the branches to climb up…" Recalling this now, I lay in bed smiling, my legs already recovered. I spoke to myself with unwavering conviction: "It seems to work." 。I went downstairs and saw that Auntie had made a plentiful dinner. I asked, "Auntie, where's my mom? Why didn't she come for breakfast?" 。“Aunt handed me a cup of milk and said, ‘She said she had something urgent last night and went back. I saw her standing at your door for a while but she didn’t go in. She told us not to wake you.’” 。I took a glass of milk and a few slices of bread, took a sip and said: "Auntie, it's the weekend today, I want to rest, so I won't have lunch." 。Aunt nodded. 。I went back to my room with the things, sat in an armchair, finished the bread and drank the milk. It was so quiet. I was about to read for a while as usual, and when I was tired, I would go to the garden to find a quiet place to draw, and then watch dramas and study with my sisters...Now, I put down the cup, opened the drawer, and saw a sketchbook. It was one I had drawn in middle school. I looked through it page by page carefully, as if the memories were replaying. 。I unconsciously abandoned all my plans, returning to the bed and lazily lying there flipping 。That's my memory, a chance encounter orchestrated by fate. A boy wielding a sickle under the setting sun, racing towards me. I will forever remember my fear at that moment and never forget those words, "This melon is ripe." 。When I was little, I was a very clingy child, especially to Leng Yang. We were inseparable all day long. He took care of me like a big brother next door, always watching over me. 。I remember when I was little, the first time he taught me how to cook, he was so happy to. 。He took each step very seriously. He told me how much rice to scoop, personally showed me how to wash it, and explained the difference between washing and rinsing rice: washing rice requires careful rubbing, while rinsing should be just right and not done for too long because it can remove the rice's aroma and texture. 。He took both my hands in his, rubbing them gently, seriously. I stared at the face inches from mine, the bronze skin, sharp angles, and eyes under those dark brows that held the night sky itself. When he smiled, they were filled with stars. 。At that time, I was unconsciously watching him smile, and he was still smiling sheepishly and said: "Crybaby, you've been smiling more than crying lately." 。I shyly drew my hands out of his, avoiding his gaze. 。Remember, it was getting dark, the dusk couldn't hold on at the horizon anymore, but I and Lengyang were still running on the field dike, barefoot, laughing wildly 。On the dike, there was wind, a desolate dusk, and the footprints and backs of me and him. 。In this kind of environment, even a withdrawn child can become cheerful because there is always someone supporting them in the background. 。In the last year, I became even more attached to Leng Yang. Every night, I would pretend that I wanted to sleep with him, because I felt safer that way. 。I'm worried that we two will break up soon because his grandfather suddenly fell ill and Leng Yang and I are spending less time together. 。One day he told me, "Xingyi, if my grandfather died, I would leave here because this place would remind me of him. I love my grandfather, and I can't accept this fact..." He looked at me with pain and reluctance in his eyes. 。That year, I deeply experienced pain. Seeing him with no stars in his eyes, I felt so heartbroken. I couldn't understand why such a sunny person had become so haggard. 。That year, Grandpa lay in bed, Leng Yang was always by his side, and I could only silently comfort them. 。Soon, Leng Yang's parents came back to take care of Grandpa Leng. Leng Yang and I often heard them arguing because they didn't have money for his treatment. I didn't understand at the time, but I always saw Leng Yang's very ugly face. 。My heart was being torn apart; all I wanted to do at that time was to share his pain. 。The hardships of life always come one after another. That year, when Leng Yang graduated from elementary school, during that vacation, Grandpa Leng closed his eyes forever. 。I could hear the firecrackers going off even before I got to his house. I remember Grandpa saying that they set off a string of firecrackers when someone old passed away here. 。My heart was pounding, I ran to his house 。As I approached the front door, I heard Leng Yang's mother crying. I couldn't believe it and walked in step by step, my heart heavy. I saw Leng Yang's parents kneeling, while Leng Yang wasn't crying loudly, he was just kneeling beside Grandpa Leng's bed with a glass of water in his hand. 。Looking at the neighbor helping to tidy up Grandpa's body, Leng Yang didn't say a word throughout the whole process. He wouldn't even stand up even though his mother hugged him. I saw that he just coldly stared at Grandpa's cold corpse. I was standing far away, but I could still feel his despair. 。I gathered my courage and didn't cry. Instead, I knelt silently beside him. When he saw me, his face remained unchanged as he said, "Xing Yi, my grandfather... he..."I quickly interrupted and said, "Your grandfather is just asleep..."He didn't cry. He looked at the cup in his hand and said, "Grandpa said he wanted water, so I went to pour it, but... the water I poured... he..."I remained silent. I held him tightly beside me. 。Originally, when a person is heartbroken to the extreme, they can't cry. 。At that moment, I felt like I had to stay with him. He had protected me for so long, this time it was my turn to protect him. 。It was Leng Yang who made me grow up, making me realize there were so many people around me to protect...At the funeral, Leng Yang wore filial attire. He knelt beside Grandpa Leng's coffin, burning white paper. There was no smile on his thin face. 。Ignoring my status, I walked up to him and knelt down. Grandpa and Cold Yang's parents didn't stop me, so they went about their business. 。And Leng Yang just glanced at me and split the white paper in half. 。I burned a piece of white paper and said, "Are you going to leave with your parents?" He replied expressionlessly, "Yeah" 。I didn't speak. 。He suddenly said, "I want to leave, but I don't want to leave my parents." 。I asked, "Why" 。He said, “At first, they were only focused on work. I thought if I spent money recklessly, they would notice me. But they left me here. Now that Grandpa has passed away, I don’t know which relative they will take me to next. I don’t want…” 。"Don't worry, it won't happen. " 。He said, “They are so heartless." 。I snatched the paper from his hand and said, "How can you think that way? Don't you remember what you said to me when I was like you?" He shook his head. 。I continued, “You said we were our parents’ destiny. Perhaps they were wrong in what they did, but maybe it was out of necessity, maybe the best option they had.” 。He hung his head like he had done something wrong. 。I returned the blank piece of paper to him and said, "So now that Grandpa is gone, we need to cherish the family we have." 。He nodded and said, "Well, thank you. I'm glad you're here." 。But, I'm leaving, I don't want to leave you..." Those words startled me, my heart warmed instantly. I held back the joy inside me, I can't smile now 。I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold on and immediately changed the subject, asking: "Don't you usually tear up the paper in your hand neatly when you have something on your mind? Why aren't you doing it now?" 。He looked at me firmly and said, “Of course not, this is the money I burned for grandpa.” 。I nodded. 。A few days later, the funeral arrangements were completed. 。One afternoon, grandpa said that Leng Yang's family was moving. I panicked because I was afraid I wouldn't see him again. I ran to find him immediately. 。At my grandfather's front door, I saw him sitting on the stone bench where we often lay together to watch the stars. As I approached, he didn't turn around. 。"You're here" 。 Sit down! I replied, "Okay" 。He said, "I won the bet." 。“What are you betting on?”He lay on top of me, pulling me to lie on his chest. With his hands propping him up underneath his head, he said, “I bet you’ll come running out without hesitation when you hear me move and look around.” 。"How did you know I'd be looking around?" I leaned my head against his chest 。He answered firmly: "I just know, because you know I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye." 。He reached out a hand and rubbed my hair. 。I said, "So you believe we have a mind link?" 。"I intentionally spoke in a very low voice: "So, are we both falling for each other?" 。He said nothing, only his heart raced. 。I understand my voice is low. 。Memories flooded back, one after another. That was a child who was terrified of strangers, but could sleep soundly on the surface. Those were eyes that could give people confidence. He was someone I spent seven years not giving up on, someone I had secretly loved for ten years, and he only accompanied me for three years. 。 |
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